Monday 31 july 2006

Listening to: the wind outside (the sun is gone! yesterday it rained!)

Bleeeeh.... today sucks... I woke up at 11.30 because my little brother didn't wake me this morning, he promised me... I took a shower and now.. I don't know what to do... I still have to go to the supermarket and I can visit my sister... but first I wait for dennis response on the sms I sent him..

My sister isn't feeling so good... she doesn't sleep and she's very sad... yesterday a month ago, 30th june, my cousin was born, at 02.15...
Jeej you should think but it's not... he should be born about the end of oktober... but the dokters saw something was wrong on the echo... first they thought my cousin didn't had a heart -...(klep) but they went to the hospital in Nijmegen to find out what they could do about it... they took some tests and another echo and they find out that the baby didn't had a left hart. He had to live on a half heart... but he should be operated many times in his first years... it wouldn't be a live... my sister and her boyfriend took a difficult decission... the pregnancy was stopped... so a month ago my sister was in the hospital, waiting for the little baby to come...at six o'clock we run into the hospital because it started... ( the dokters said that when it started it wouldn't take so long...) but he was born 8 hours later... jeroens parents, sister and her boyfriend, my parents, sister, brother, hugo and me, got to see him a few minutes... there were pictures taken and we were filmed... It was very sad...everyone cried... it was a beautiful baby, even though he was so small... he was 30 cm and 500 gramms, he was so small! He had my sisters feet and Jeroens nose and eyes, his nose looked a little bit like mine (and my dad's)... He had just lived a few seconds... for him it was a whole live.. He got the name Levi Havekate...
At the cremation there where played songs and some people told poems... we made a book full with poems and pictures... my sister gave us a beautiful photo,
mine is hanging by my bed so I see it everyday... Even though he was so short with us, he will always be in our heart... I don't know how I can help my sister...she's so sad... The last weeks she got a little distraction because they were moving into another house... but still she doesn't sleep and she looks bad...

Ow and my mother is moving in by my dad.. stupid &#$**^% she divorced my father almost 6 years ago... she moved away a year ago to Almelo... and now shes coming back walking around like she's she boss here... well I don't think so.. my brother doesn't mind, he got a PSP, on his room a tv with dvd, a phone....etc... my sister also.. not me, she can kiss my ass! She can't buy me!


Leonie